Understanding that sometimes things need to unfold in their own time and the process cannot be hurried.

A child may try to help a butterfly emerge by breaking open a chrysalis but chances are the butterfly won’t benefit from this help.

Practicing patience with ourselves. “Why rush through some moments to get to other ‘better’ ones? Each one is your life at that moment.”

Being completely open to each moment, accepting its fullness, knowing that like the butterfly, things will emerge in their own time.

From Jon Kabbat-Zin’s “The Full Catastrophe.”

How can we awaken to Patience in our daily lives?

Example:

Allowing more Patience into my life can be a daily challenge as I am known to be impatient with so many things, both big and small.

There is rushing to get to a better moment. When I am cooking for the week on Sunday’s or cleaning the house. First, there is judging or labeling it as “unpleasant” or “I would rather be doing something else” which then cascades into impatience and wanting to be done so I can move on. However, when I catch myself and take a moment and breathe and come back to the moment, I find that both of these experiences become enjoyable as I see the different colors of the food, and textures and different aroma’s along with the meditative quality of repetitive chopping of vegetables. And the joy of seeing dirt and lint getting sucked up into the vacuum and my floors becoming clean. When I return to the moment, I am amazed at how much I missed by getting sucked into my story of wanting it to be over and somewhere else! And what is always amusing to me is that there is nowhere else to get to more quickly.

Another type of impatience is wanting things to go faster.  When my husband and I are out doing things together, after the car is parked, I am out and already walking towards our destination while my husband is checking things out in the car; making sure everything is in its place, double-checking things, making sure the lights are out, straightening up the carryall in the back or the glove compartment, finding trash to throw out………………actually I am not really sure what all he is doing because I am usually miles ahead of him!!!!

Sometimes, if I am mindful enough, I will notice my tendency to rush ahead of him. And I laugh at why I am in such a hurry to get to my destination without him!!!  Am I worried that there would not be any more kale left in the vegetable department? Or that there will not be a table for us in the restaurant? In those moments, I do wait patiently while he finishes whatever it is he is doing and am aware of what is really important. Which is not getting to wherever we are going quickly and without him, but to be connected to him and be with him even if it means going slower than I normally would.

So what is this needing to go fast all about? The inquiry takes me to an unconscious need to rush and go fast to stay one step ahead of danger and the tiger that is chasing me!!! And what does the tiger represent? The tiger represents any kind of stress or challenge in my life that I do not want to face or look at. It’s like if I keep moving fast enough “IT” cannot catch me. So you can see that doing a mindful inquiry into why we react in certain ways can produce amazing insights.

And what about things needing to unfold in their own time and not trying to force a process? I have seen that show up in creative endeavors of mine like writing blogs, designing my website, or working on designing a class or workshop. Sometimes I get so impatient that I have produced things prematurely. But when I allow myself to go with the flow and not rush things, then I find out that there was a reason for the delay. A better way to communicate a thought or process is revealed, or I find the perfect graphic, or I realize that it is not the right time to start a class at a particular location because a few weeks later I find a much better environment for my class.

And of course, we have all been impatient and angry being stuck in traffic. As if getting upset about it makes the traffic move faster!!! I am so much better about this one now – because I get it – there really is nowhere to go! So much kinder to enjoy the ride, albeit slower than I would prefer. And of course, if you are going to be late, you make that phone call so you can relax.

What ways are you noticing the value and benefit of allowing more Patience into your life?